Yesterday I ran out of coffee and it was hideous and I had to go and get some before lack of caffeine and constant goading caused me to attack the Lobster with the laser. While I was out I had to go and talk to my advisor, it being the start of a new academic year, and as if that wasn't bad enough I got to the university only to find it's overrun with first years. UGH.
I kept my head down and tried to scurry through without making eye contact but was stopped by a nurse and asked to make an approximate volume calculation on a jar filled with an unknown quantity of condoms. I could have done such calculations easily, but in actual fact it had nothing to do with volume at all. I assumed that the people filling it thought they were being clever, but through the logical deconstruction of their methodology I was able to deduce this: The stall was run by student health to promote student health and their services, including the prescription of condoms. The standard prescription is for an entire dispensing pack, which contains 12 packets of 12 condoms each, totalling 144. Therefore, they had filled the jar with 144 condoms as a method of advertising. Duh.
They rang me back later to tell me I had won a "shag bag". I have no idea what such a bag might contain. I hope it isn't a live shag, I'm not sure there is enough room in my lab for a frankenroboshag, though creating a voice mechanism to interact with a beak would be a fun afternoon.
I will pick up this "shag bag" today. Perhaps if I don't want it I can give it to Trevor.
ROBOSHAG!!!!
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